It's a long story:

 

I've get to know this girl beside my class during a school event around june this year. We're started to talk a lot and now, the A level is drawing closer and we're been studying together at times. No doubt about my feelings, I know I've fall for her. She's a very shy, soft-spoken and naive girl, an introvert I would say. She isnt exactly the small, cute and sweet type which most guys go for. She have got broad shoulders so that results in her overall body structure looking rather big (fat as she put it). That results in her being very pessimestic because she feels she's ugly and fat despite me and her friends telling her she's not. She's from a girl's school since primary school and only started mixing with guys since last year (JC education) and she havent been through a relationship before.

 

  Honestly, I dont know how I've fall for her in the first place.

 

Her friends and people around her have been warning about me because of my past story with my ex-gf. Her best friends have been trying to stop her from getting close to me because they know I've got a motive in trying to know her in the first place (that is to go after her). However, she's the naive kind, and she didn't believe it and asked me about it. Fear that it might stop our communication, I've told her I just wanna know her as a friend. True enough, she believed in me. Curiously, I asked her if what would happen if what her friends predicted about my motive for knowing her was true. She just apologised and say it would be one-sided. I reacted by saying it's funny to see her reaction jokingly. Of course it did hurt me a little deep down. Furthermore, a lot of rumours about me and her have been flying around in school. It did make her very irritated (I can feel it) but she kept telling me it has been sometime since people have been teasing her about me so she's used to it and it's okay, but I know its not. I didnt wanna put in any action to go after her now as our A levels are coming soon and I dont want anything to distract me or her in our studies.

 

I've just found her blog and spent 2+ hours reading all her previous post from june (her last post was in june) till the end of 2006 (when she's still sec4 in an all-girl's school). She used to blog regularly until june this year. I realise that she's more pessimist then i thought she was, being emo too. She have been saying how much a black sheep she was to her friends and family (she've got a long-term disease). I could still remember the fear in her when she told me softly "I've got (long-term disease)" fearing that I would find her wierd and stop talking to her. She blogged about how much she wants to feel love, as in the bgr type, and her pride must be badly dented as she stated she must be so fat and ugly that nobody have been wooing her. After that, I've decided to woo her after A levels.

 

However, as I read on, she have got this huge crush since last year. She also blogged about how much the guy meant to her and even his smile will make her day. Well, it was one-sided and that guy hurt her somehow by 'rejecting' her I supposed and I think she have kinda got over it A LITTLE BIT beginning of this year. She must have really liked the guy to still have the feelings for her crush aka eye-candy after so long. That discouraged me a bit in chasing after her.

 

My question is since all her friends have been discouraging her from carrying on talking to me, and after the reaction of her by saying it'll be one-sided for me to like her, how could I ever get closer to her? I really wanna help her in her pessimist attitude and it would be easy provided that even her good friends can't change her mindset.

 

Any advice folks? I'm really in a mix-emotion now.

Err ok whats the story?

crush who doesn't have? just try your best to overwrite the crush.. but only if you're serious..

wah u heng u fell for a soft gal... if she was hard, ud get some pretty bad injuries...

Originally posted by cuddles:

crush who doesn't have? just try your best to overwrite the crush.. but only if you're serious..

I've to say I'm quite serious. I even planned about how I'm going to support the medical fees for her if we're together for a long-term. Well, it's just a dream though. :(

one thing, you seems quite pre-occupied about what people have to say. For me, I don't like to judge a person by their pasts..

so if U seriously like this gal for what she is, then just be with her.

Continue to be what you used to be, just be with her, give her the time/care/attention she needs.Assure her and treat her like a lady and not some physical toy or etc.

given how she is quite okay with your presence, build on it. slowly.. baby steps. the more time you spend together, she will see the real you, and vice versa.

 

no picture no tok

huh. she gotch eye candy too. 

Originally posted by LongitudinaL:

no picture no tok

Do I need to show everyone the picture of my whole school? Please, I dont need your comment.

dude, A level is gonna make you or screw you.many pple has been screwed just because of such proiblems

 

study first is my advice. i seen a lot of pple got screwed in A level just because of relationship stuff.

be gd fren first.

Yeah,  hiphop is right dude, you should really concentrate on your A levels first.

If she doesn't likes you at least alittle bit, she wont be able to put up with all the rumours. you know what I mean?

Certainly a long long story, in short, study first. Like as if all the girls will be gone when you finished you study.....if you can finish in the first place.

I think the few of us giving you this same advise is meant for your own good. Hope you do well.

Originally posted by renze:

Yeah,  hiphop is right dude, you should really concentrate on your A levels first.

If she doesn't likes you at least alittle bit, she wont be able to put up with all the rumours. you know what I mean?

Wow. Are you sure it was the case that she likes me at least a little little bit? She might be naive, that's why she's able to put up with the rumours. If it's really the case of how you put it, I'll be a happy man. (:

Thanks everyone for the replies and advices. GREATLY APPRECIATED!

Originally posted by coldzero:

It's a long story: 

 Honestly, I dont know how I've fall for her in the first place.

Her friends and people around her have been warning about me because of my past story with my ex-gf. Her best friends have been trying to stop her from getting close to me because they know I've got a motive in trying to know her in the first place (that is to go after her). However, she's the naive kind, and she didn't believe it and asked me about it. Fear that it might stop our communication, I've told her I just wanna know her as a friend. True enough, she believed in me. Curiously, I asked her if what would happen if what her friends predicted about my motive for knowing her was true. She just apologised and say it would be one-sided. I reacted by saying it's funny to see her reaction jokingly. Of course it did hurt me a little deep down. Furthermore, a lot of rumours about me and her have been flying around in school. It did make her very irritated (I can feel it) but she kept telling me it has been sometime since people have been teasing her about me so she's used to it and it's okay, but I know its not. I didnt wanna put in any action to go after her now as our A levels are coming soon and I dont want anything to distract me or her in our studies.

I've just found her blog and spent 2+ hours reading all her previous post from june (her last post was in june) till the end of 2006 (when she's still sec4 in an all-girl's school). She used to blog regularly until june this year. I realise that she's more pessimist then i thought she was, being emo too. She have been saying how much a black sheep she was to her friends and family (she've got a long-term disease). I could still remember the fear in her when she told me softly "I've got (long-term disease)" fearing that I would find her wierd and stop talking to her. She blogged about how much she wants to feel love, as in the bgr type, and her pride must be badly dented as she stated she must be so fat and ugly that nobody have been wooing her. After that, I've decided to woo her after A levels.

However, as I read on, she have got this huge crush since last year. She also blogged about how much the guy meant to her and even his smile will make her day. Well, it was one-sided and that guy hurt her somehow by 'rejecting' her I supposed and I think she have kinda got over it A LITTLE BIT beginning of this year. She must have really liked the guy to still have the feelings for her crush aka eye-candy after so long. That discouraged me a bit in chasing after her.

My question is since all her friends have been discouraging her from carrying on talking to me, and after the reaction of her by saying it'll be one-sided for me to like her, how could I ever get closer to her? I really wanna help her in her pessimist attitude and it would be easy provided that even her good friends can't change her mindset.

Any advice folks? I'm really in a mix-emotion now.

Pardon me, but what actually happen between you and your ex-girlfriend? Since you said she is the naive kind, have you ever thought how you would behave if you are into a relationship with her and whether your behaviour then would be tolerable by her? If you said that you don't know why you have fallen for her in the first place, then would you just suddenly leave her when you realize you have suddenly fallen out of love?

Love is a decision. And love is not possession. If you truly love someone, you do not need her to reciprocate if she can't.

Originally posted by hiphop2009:

dude, A level is gonna make you or screw you.many pple has been screwed just because of such proiblems

 

study first is my advice. i seen a lot of pple got screwed in A level just because of relationship stuff.

be gd fren first.

I agree with hiphop2009. Be good friends with her first. Understand her and let her understand you. If a relationship occurs, of course that would be for the best. If not, you can always hang around, keep in touch and offer help when you know she needs it.

p/s (in reference to her blog): Girls are usually more emotional. And if she can't write down on her blog her true feelings, I don't know where else she can. However, emotions like these are usually fleeting, just like human beings have happy and sad moments. She just need to express them out and she'll feel better. I don't know how you see this but it applies to me. Sometimes, a woman actually gets more upset as she talks about her emotions but usually it has nothing to do with the guy she is talking to and she doesn't need solutions. It's like she needs to go down, touch bottom before she will feel better for her emotions to go up again. Many guys are puzzled because it is actually a cycle (much like menstrual cycle) that a woman will repeat over and over again regardless whether a woman is in a good relationship with a man or not. It's just how a girl express her emotions. All she needs is a good listening ear.

Regarding crushes, they'll fly out of the window once true love take place

All the best.

focus on exams, after 'A' go all out for her!!

this the age when most are more receptive to the idea of starting a r/s, so grab the chance!! most of my frens start r/s at ard this age, 19 ++

gd luck

coldzero i think she likes you at the very least, it's like the same meaning of how guys react to ugly girls and pretty girls................ ok....... now you get it?? lol. but of coz like little bit doesn't mean you guys can be bf/gf. good luck.

CrabbyShaSha i think what u're rying to say is girls heart like neddle in the sea "Ru Ren Xin, Hai Di Zhen" =x

 

TS you should care for her as a friend first. dont rush into things as you know she is not ready to accept you at the moment. be there for her, lend her listening ears, send her sms, etc. time to come she will surely br touched. good luck!

like lotssa people say, prepare for your A's 1st man.
After your A's, u'll have to worry about how to handle her, considering u have to go NS.

One step at a time.

Gdluck aniwaes.

I  don think i;ve got stuff to say to help u.

Originally posted by renze:

 

CrabbyShaSha i think what u're rying to say is girls heart like neddle in the sea "Ru Ren Xin, Hai Di Zhen" =x

Haha, not exactly, but rather the opposite sex should try to understand what make the other sex tick. A lot of girls also do not understand why guys do the things they do. Sometimes, boys and girls mean the same well-meaning intention behind their action or it's a normal way for them to behave in a particular action, but their normal actions are often misconstrued because that is not what you would normally do.

In other words, 男人心 also 海底针 to me. Hehe.